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Diah is here! Mom of three boys.

Kids From Unhappy Family

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I was standing in front of a stall at the traditional market one morning talking to my sister-in-law who owns the stall. Then a girl poked me from behind. I turned around thinking that it might be someone I know. But, she was not somebody I know. I wondered why she did that. Did she think I was someone else?

She looked like an ordinary teenage girl. She wore trousers and a shirt with a jacket. There was a sling bag with her. She showed me her palm. Then I realized that she was begging for some money. What?!

I said no to her. I couldn't hide my expression. So sorry, girl, but I was a little shocked. Then she left me. I didn't know where she'd go.

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One evening I had dinner at a small warung with my husband. It was around 9 P.M. We saw some boys gathering and making some noise. They were about 10-12 years old. I was wondering what they did at such late hour. 9 P.M. is 'late' to me. My husband told me that it was common for those kids to go out up to that hour. And they did nothing but just gathered around.

"Not only that, you may find some group of girls, too," said my husband. What!?

My husband told me a more shocking story: these boys could be found at midnight time as well.

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I just can't believe my ears and eyes. The girl who poked me at the market, those boys, the group of girls...How can those little children wander around at night? Where are their parents?

Some facts tell me that there are kids who just can't stand to stay at home. They seem don't have nice relationships with their parents or their caregivers. I don't want to call them broken home kids because not every kid with such background has a mess life. I just tend to call them kids from unhappy family.

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In this neighbourhood, I see some forced uncomplete life. Women here are encouraged to work overseas. There are some men, too, but women are the majority. They mostly work in Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Korea and Middle East. Some of them never return to their home country for years. Some of them maybe the moms of the kids from unhappy family.

I don't say it without any proof. I see with my own eyes there are moms who leave their sons and daughters for years and miss the opportunity to see their kids grow. The kids don't really know their mothers. Mothers don't exist in their lives. All they know about motherhood is the presence of their grandma or aunty.

Why mothers play a very significant role in kids' life? Mother is the first teacher of every kid. The very first person every kid know is his or her mother. Nobody disagree with that. That's why losing somebody he or she knows will affect a great impact in life. Moreover when this happens to little kids.

So, what we can do to minimize the negative effect of the motherless condition? The presence of female caregiver is important. The caregiver should play the role of mother in kid's life, giving them love and affection, teaching them about life, moral and religious value. There is no guarantee these will really work, but at least we have tried. Through these steps, I do hope there will be no more unhappy family.

Diah Dwi Arti
Diah Dwi Arti
Muslimah | Madiun, Indonesia | Mom of three | email: diah.d.arti [at] gmail.com

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